One of the many things I remember fondly from when I was a kid was watching Elvira with my uncle. I’ve always had a penchant for Halloween and anything affiliated with it, so Elvira and her show were like a dream come true for me. When I was eleven years old my uncle took me to Knott’s Scary Farm just so that we could see her live show there. After waiting in line we lucked out and got to sit front row center. The whole time before the show began we were so excited and once she finally appeared and I remember thinking, “Whoa, she’s real.”
To this day we still talk about how much fun we had at that show, and yes my uncle is the coolest guy ever for taking eleven year old Giselle to Knott’s Scary Farm to see Elvira. Ever since I can remember I have wanted to be like her. She is gorgeous, hilarious, and has wit to match it. As I’ve gotten older I realize that not only is Elvira generally awesome, but she has taught me some valuable lessons over the years.
Here are the five things that Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, has taught me:
1). If You’ve Got it, Flaunt it
Elvira is not ashamed of her body. She has legs, hair, and a rack to die for and she’ll be damned if you don’t know it. She is proud of her figure and not shy about what nature (or perhaps Satan) has blessed upon her. Ladies, we need to follow suit. Let’s stop being so self-deprecating and ashamed of our figures and instead show the world our incredible assets and be proud of them. Screw shame and let the world know that you are beautiful and that you don’t feel the need to hide it. Embrace yourself!
2). Be Fabulous
Elvira has style. Everything from her outfit, to the car she drives, to where she lives has her stamp on it. I think this ties into the rule of “If You’ve Got it, Flaunt It” because part of embracing and loving yourself is also doing so with panache. Don’t be afraid to adorn yourself and to show it off to the world. Dye your hair blue if you’ve always wanted to, do that silly dance to your favorite song while in public, drive that dream car, and paint your house wacky colors. Be classy and know that you are definitely the coolest person in the room… unless Elvira is there. Or Batman. Worst case scenario you’ll be a solid number three.
3). Don’t Take Shit From Anybody
Whenever someone tries to bring her down, or some sleaze ball is trying to cop a feel, Elvira makes sure that those people get theirs. It doesn’t matter if they’re the creeper at the local bowling alley or her new boss, she does not take bad treatment from anyone. Often times I think we take crap and from others and don’t retaliate because of the risk of seeming rude or impolite. Well, if people are being rude to us then we should defend ourselves, damn it! Remember that you are fabulous and don’t deserve to be treated like that by anyone. Either by her cunning wit or a kick in a particularly vulnerable spot, Elvira never let’s anyone get away with a being jerk.
4). If You Want It, Go For It
One of my favorite things about Elvira is that if she sees something that she wants she goes for it. It may be her dream of being a performer in Las Vegas, or it may be the small town’s delicious beefcake (you go girl). Either way she doesn’t waste time when she sees something she wants. So many of us wait for “a sign” or if what we want is another person we wait for that person to make the first move. Life is short and if you want something just take the risk and go for it. Just like how Elvira is proud of her body she is also unafraid to make that move. Let’s all take that initiative and just go for it. Besides, life is so boring when you play it safe.
5). Embrace Yourself
I know I’ve been throwing this phrase around a bit, but I’ve done that because it is the most important rule that Elvira has taught me. Elvira is not your typical gal. I know it, you know it, and she certainly knows it. She embraces who she is instead of letting it hold her back and trying to change it. She doesn’t spend any time loathing herself, instead she is out there having a good time, being fabulous, making a name for herself, and even occasionally saving the world from worlocks. She knows what she likes, she knows her talents, and she is proud of them. We should all be proud of what we have, what we can do, and what makes us different. Instead of trying to be a cookie cutter version of everyone else, just embrace yourself and have fun.