Halloween! Knott’s Scary Farm 2013

Knott's Scary Farm 2013

Knott’s Scary Farm Haunt prides itself as one of the first — if not THE first — theme parks to go all out during Halloween in Southern California. They have been around for more than a decade since I remembered my own mother taking me to the park on a Halloween (possibly one of their first years as Knott’s Scary) when I was barely a tween and getting scared to death! When Scarlettburn and I went this year, I had wondered out loud why a parent would agree to take an impressionable child to the park. It wasn’t until I was laughing hysterically at the reactions of a group of kids chaperoned by their own parents inside one of the mazes that I understood why. It’s kind of funny to see terrified children and it’s possibly a nice little revenge for making our parents’ lives a constant hell. . . but everyone has their fun in the end, so why not!

I haven’t returned to Knott’s Scary in years since I only go to Universal Studio’s Halloween Horror Night. While Halloween Horror Night relies heavily on its movie rights and props, Knott’s excels in originality when it comes to their mazes. There are ten mazes in total (eleven, if you count Trapped, the extra maze that required an additional pay) and different live shows throughout the night. Scarlettburn and I made the effort to watch Elvira’s Sinema Seance starring Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, who makes her return to Knott’s with this new show.

The show was amazing. Elvira was quick, sassy and hilarious and she still rocks that dress. How does she look so damn good?!

Knott's Scary Farm 2013

I will admit that one of the reasons I haven’t gone to Knott’s Scary Farm in awhile is because I am kind of a snob and has been spoiled by the top notch quality of Universal’s production. That doesn’t mean I didn’t go to Knott’s prepared to have fun and I really did enjoy myself! Plus, the mazes have grown and improved a lot since the last time I was there. I let out a few screams here and there in between giggling hysterically at my own and my friend’s reactions.

My favorite maze might have to be Forevermore, which was inspired by Edgar Allan Poe. The maze was downright creepy and I loved the inspired spooky (and gorey) characters that they spun for it. My second favorites would have to be Trick or Treat and Delirium. We got through all the mazes that night and only disliked one experience: Mirror Mirror. In hindsight, the idea behind Mirror Mirror isn’t a bad one but it was certainly not worth the hour and a half wait in line.

Why was the wait so long? The maze is a mirror fun house and it’s pretty small. They only allowed groups of a maximum of 20 people at a time. The fast past line got priority, which is understandable, but the system didn’t really work. I am sure the original idea for the maze is to allow people to get lost in the mirrors until they peed their pants from terror. Unfortunately, due to the time constraints, the experience is loss when they throw open the exit doors and staff members basically ushers you out so the next group can go in. For all that wait, you are inside the maze for less than two minute.

The only thing this maze was good for was capturing some video selfies. Check out this clip of me and Scarlettburn, plus our friends, going through.

Knott’s Scary Farm Haunt is totally worth the money and loosing sleep over. It’s worth possibly losing your voice from screaming, but do not stand in that ridiculous line for Mirror Mirror — save that maze for last, if you have to. It is not worth it! Not in my opinion at least. It will just make your feet hurt and make you angry.

Knott's Scary Farm 2013

We had a blast though and I am pretty sure I would want to go back next year! We had a lot of memorable moments, including walking past a group of free form monsters who were huddled together and grunting among themselves who immediately made “shh! shh!” sounds when they saw our group coming. We walked by in silence and once we were a couple of feet away, they started laughing hysterically in perfect timing and unison — acted like they were talking about us the whole time. It was silly and goofy but definitely made our group smile for the rest of the night. Thank you for that, street monsters of Knott’s!

Knott's Scary Farm 2013

Knott's Scary Farm 2013

Also, this random guy in our photo!

OTHER PRO TIPS: There are plenty of street parking and it’s a fairly safe neighborhood — the park charges $20 on Haunt nights, so ‘eff that bullshit! / The Calico Mine ride is also decked out for Halloween except at the end of the night, the scares are gone. Ride it earlier in your visit if you want the scare or ride it at the end of the night if you want to just relax. / Again, save Mirror Mirror as your last maze because your time inside the actual maze is not worth the wait. / Go on a Sunday night for less crowd and less wait time in lines! / Seriously, eat well before you go — I mean, Portillo’s is not that far from the park!

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Written by Space Pirate Queen
The Space Pirate Queen loves Supernatural, The X-Files and anything that involves the weird.