This week, I learn a few very useful lessons from Demolition Man

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Lesson: If you have children in the here and now, then travel forward in time, do not have sex with random people until you have ascertained exactly what happened to said children.

Summary:
John Spartan is tracking down an evil criminal, Simon Phoenix, in the year 1996. Due to convoluted plot reasons, both are put in stasis for ‘rehabilitation’ and wake up in 2030-something. Then stuff proceeds to get shot at and explode. There may have been more plot than that, but honestly, this is Stallone fighting Snipes. Plot is just incidental.

Thoughts:
There are so many things to talk about. Firstly, my lesson. Was no one else freaked out that he has a daughter in 1996, age unknown, travels forward in time, and then says yes to sex with the first woman who offers, who may be about the right age for his daughter??

The costumes in this film are just…so…AWESOME. Snipes wears these pants that look like MC Hammer and BeetleJuice had a baby.

I had been unaware that Benjamin Bratt (Miss Congeniality) and Sandra Bullock had been in a film together before Miss C. He is adorable as a straight-laced cop. Conversely, it was so great to see Snipes in a wild, relaxed role. My main experience with him previously was Blade films and he’s so up tight. Too bad he didn’t get type cast as crazy-pants.

I’m not sure whether I’m horrified by the idea of Taco Bell being the only restaurant in the future or totally ok with Mexican food taking over the world. Just so conflicted!

I’m going to adopt the phrase, “What’s your boggle?”

Stallone is ‘rehabilitated’ into a ‘seamstress’. This is demonstrated by the fact that he can take one ball of what looked like sock weight yarn and knit it into a full sized cabled sweater in ONE NIGHT. He’s not a seamstress, he’s friggin Jesus of Knitting.

Overall, this film has not aged well, but that makes it pretty fantastic in its own way. I definitely recommend watching as long as alcohol is involved. But, that’s usually my recommendation for any film…

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Written by Pilbeam