Here it is, the film that started it all. Miss Congeniality.

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There are so many lessons to be learned here, guys, that we’re going to need gifs to cover everything. If you don’t feel enlightened after watching this film, well…


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If you haven’t seen this film before, a brief summary:

There is a terrorist threatening to bomb the Miss America pageant. Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock), an FBI agent, is chosen to go in undercover. Gracie is reluctant, to say the least. Victor Melling (Michael Caine) is brought in as her pageant consultant. Hilarity ensues.

1. Remember to SING
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All joking aside, this is actually an important lesson. This woman got on stage and taught other women how to defend themselves. Not to win, not because it was relevant to her mission, but because it was important to her that other women know how to. And she did it in lederhosen.

2. Anything Michael Caine says is law.
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There need to be more films with Michael Caine as a gay character. My dream film is him and Robert De Niro being gay buddies in some sort of comedy/action film.

3. Dresses should have pockets
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Where else are you going to store your gun and donut, if it doesn’t have a pocket?

4. Walking in heels is a bitch
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This is me, every time my foot even sees a heel.

5. April 25th is the best day.
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6. Lederhosen are cool. Like bowties.
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I really like this film. There aren’t many other “chick flicks” I see as on par with it. Legally Blonde, Josie and the Pussycats and Clueless are the only ones I can really compare it to.

All of these films feature really strong female leads, women who are confident and independent before the story even gets going. Romance, while present in all of them, are really secondary stories to the women and their journeys to better understanding themselves and others.

They are also, pretty much across the board, quite scathing social commentaries. Jane Austen would approve, I think.

There are many more lessons to be learned from Miss Congeniality, so go forth and watch it. Thank you for your time.

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Written by Pilbeam