Let’s talk about sex-ism, baby!
This is a weird film. Paul Matthews (Tate Donovan) is a biochemist who visits a fortune teller that gives him love potion #8 (not a typo). He and his science partner Diane Farrow (Sandra Bullock) analyse it and realise that it affects the vocal chords and makes the drinker’s voice pleasurably vibrate the ear hairs of the listener so that they fall in love. SCIENCE. The experiment gets out of hand, hearts are broken, a prostitute enslaves men with her voice, shit gets crazy.
1. Don’t mess with love
2. Nerd women need make-overs
3. False love tastes like mule sweat
Ilona Andrews 7th novel in the Kate Daniel’s series, Magic Breaks, is fast paced, funny, action packed and heart wrenching. It’s basically book crack.
The trouble I have writing this review is that if you know about the series, you’ve probably read them all and don’t need to be persuaded to read the next installment. These characters are your friends and you can’t wait to visit them again. If you haven’t read the series, I can’t talk about ANYTHING that happens in this book because everything has been building to this moment.
If you haven’t started the series, I’m sad for you. I’m sad that you won’t giggle when I mention attack poodles, or want to smack something at the mention of Saiman. The long and the short of it is, if you like paranormal, shape shifters, vampires, fast paced action, mysteries, snarky humor, then go get started! Stop reading this, and go buy the first book. When you finish them all in the next four days, then we can talk.
If you are determined to be spoiled and miss out on all the fun of a series building up it’s characters and revealing mysteries as it goes, read on.
The Rise of O-Girl
Anita B. Rutten
Trigger warnings: This review contains explicit content (sex!) and discussion about rape. Continue at your own risk.
The Rise of O-Girl is a short story about a super heroine whose secret power is lightning orgasms that fry her partner to a crisp. She’s on a vendetta to find her sister’s murderer and will stop at nothing to get her revenge. Her origin story as a super hero is also covered.
At 22 pages, this is a pretty quick read for anyone, and if you’re just in it for titillation, you won’t have to wait long. There are lots of sex scenes starting from page 1. I’d say the price point of $2.99 is a bit high for 22 pages, but I’m a bit of a cheapskate when it comes to buying books.
More time traveling with Sandra! This week we visit The Lake House.
To quote IMDB summary, “A lonely doctor who once occupied an unusual lakeside home begins exchanging love letters with its former resident, a frustrated architect. They must try to unravel the mystery behind their extraordinary romance before it’s too late.” Except they don’t unravel the mystery, being the mystery is TIME TRAVEL and no one seems interested in that.
1) Time travel breaks my head
2) If you’re postbox turns into a tiny TARDIS, you won’t even think twice about it
3) Look both ways before crossing the street.
I’m going to discuss spoilers, so you’ve been warned!
This week we travel to rehab and talk about our feelings in 28 Days.
Gwen is a party girl and the start of the film follows her ruining her sisters wedding, quite spectacularly, and crashing a limo into a house. The judge gives her the choice of 28 days of rehab or jail time, so Gwen heads to rehab, where the fun begins!
1) Soap operas help you get through rehab
2) Lifting up a horse’s leg is symbolic of becoming a better person
3) Alan Tudyk should be in every film.
This week we learn lessons from Hope Floats, or “How not to end a marriage”.
Birdee (almost as good as when Sandra was ‘Sidalee’) goes on a talk show, expecting a free make-over. But, in reality, her best friend reveals that she’s been having an affair with Birdee’s husband. Yay for talk shows! The rest of the film follows Birdee around as she tries to come to grips with her marriage ending and starting life over back in her home town with her daughter.
What did I learn?
1) Taxidermy is disturbing
2) Making Mae Whitman cry is a dickhead thing to do
3) Being talented and having no ambition is only ok in the South.