The Best Travel Insurance: Liam Neeson

Later this year I’m taking a trip to Europe with my parents. I’ve never been, so naturally I’m very excited. Right now we’re in that lovely stage of looking up hotels, restaurants, and even cute luggage; all things that are keeping us in a constant stage of excitement. The discussion of travel insurance came up. We looked up different options and then it occurred to me that there is really only one kind of travel insurance that would make me feel safe whilst abroad, that would cover practically any situation.

That would, of course, be Liam Neeson Travel Insurance.

Liam Neeson is a badass. This is not up for discussion, it is plain fact. That’s why there ought to be Liam Neeson Travel Insurance. That guy can take care of pretty much any bad situation that may occur abroad, and then some.

For you naysayers out there, let me explain to you the many situations when Liam Neeson Travel Insurance would the best insurance for you and your loved ones.

Let’s say that whilst abroad you get kidnapped and sold into the sex trade. Out of all the potential situations, this obviously is one that applies to me the most (let me have this one). As shown by the awesome movie Taken, Liam Neeson not only totally rescues you, but kills everyone who gets in his way, and then buys you a karaoke machine. Best dad ever? I think so. The only thing that would make it better is if they got ice cream afterwards.

Here’s another one. What if you get in a horrible accident, become a victim of mistaken identity, and fall into a coma? Have no fear, Liam Neeson Travel Insurance also covers cases of international espionage, mistaken identity, and high profile assassination attempts. Not only will he help you realize your true identity, but he will also help you to save the day and the high profile scientist who will help end world hunger. As the movie Unknown shows us, even if it is the most ridiculous situation that bends and redefines plausibility, you’ll be just fine.

“This movie is ridiculous, but I’m Liam Neeson so it’s okay.”

How about this: Let’s say that your plane crashes on the way to your destination. You survive, but it turns out that where you have crashed is an area filled with blood thirsty wolves who so rarely get to have yummy delicious people. Oh, no! What will you do? Don’t worry, Liam Neeson Travel Insurance also covers plane crashes and animal attacks. Admittedly, survival in this situation is extremely low, even with The Grey Neeson by your side, but at least you’ll die coming to terms with whatever is haunting you and it will be really awesome and cathartic.


Maybe you’re traveling because you’re going through a major identity crisis. You’ve lost some loved ones and you overall feel wayward and consumed by revenge. If this is you then Liam Neeson Travel Insurance is ideal. Liam Neeson Travel Insurance not only covers your general safety, but also attends to your personal problems, pathological fears, and overall life choices. Not only do the services provide bail bonds for foreign jails, but they also provide training, guidance, and help to find the path to righteousness and justice so that you may discover your destiny and become the savior to your home town. *LIAM NEESON TRAVEL INSURANCE is not liable for the damage done to your hometown in the event that he potentially becomes a bit overzealous with his own vision of justice and revenge and all that zen balance of society stuff.*

Maybe you’re undercover and abroad because an organization is trying to force you into a ridiculous treaty (even though they’re just a pawn of the evil Emperor. Wait, what did the Trade Federation actually have to do with anything? What did they even trade? Sorry, I’ll stop now). You’ll also need protection from the oddly attractive assassin who is an agent of the dark side. No worries, Liam Neeson Travel Insurance covers interstellar travel and galactic conspiracies as well. It will cover ship crashes, assassination attempts, help create alliances between land and aquatic societies, and keep you safe all while using cool lightsabers.

Best of all when he’s not being a badass, he can make you laugh:

If you can dream it, Liam Neeson Travel Insurance can cover it and kick its ass.

I think that about covers every possible situation that may occur while I’m in Europe. Yup.


Think I’ve missed an important scenario where Liam Neeson Travel Insurance would be ideal? Comment below!

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