I Want Batman To Be My Father
On episode 40 of Super Geeked Up, one of the round table questions was which superhero or super villain would we want as our parents. My answer was Batman. Now, I know what you’re thinking — but SPQ, he’ll just be neglectful or he’ll turn you into a Robin or you’ll probably end up dead or badly beaten up down the line. The truth is the reasons I chose him was not well thought-out and are pretty much right on the very shallow surface of the entire situation.
Reason #1 Since he IS the Batman and he is super obsessed with being the Batman. If he hadn’t coerced me into becoming a sidekick, he will pretty much leave me alone. I can live the life of Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl and lack parental interference all across the board. The only way I will get his full attention is if I turn to crime and became a villain (hmm… now there’s an interesting thought!).
Reason #2 He’s rich. He’ll feel a little bit guilty about the parental neglect so you know what that means? I get to use the Bat-Card.
Guys, it’s a GOTHCard and it’s good thru FOREVER! And I am guessing it’s a no limit charge on that bad boy. Imagine all that shopping therapy and traveling to sunnier cities or beaches that are less dreary than Gotham. In fact, maybe I can ask Bruce-Dad to just send me to boarding school to somewhere like California or Spain.
Reason #3 Alfred. Who doesn’t want an Alfred as your personal assistant?
Reason #4 Robin. ROBINS. If you’re not familiar with my little pervy love for Robin then I am telling you now: I. LOVE. ROBINS. All of them. My favorite is Tim Drake but I’ll take anyone in the Robin suit (and yes, that includes the girl Robins too and Chris O’Donnell).
I find him very hard to resist. Is it the uniform? Is it the naivety? The innocent? The pure adorableness? I am not sure. Perhaps all of the above. If Bruce Wayne was my dad, I get to live with all the Robins. Enough said. I will not incriminate myself by describing on this blog what I would do if I am in the same house as Robin.
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In reality, I probably won’t live long enough to really enjoy any of the above reasons because the Joker or some of Dad’s super enemies will get to me before I even get to high school. My best chance is to learn how to fight like Damien Wayne, but even he got the short end of the stick. . . or turn into a super villain. Or be kept hidden in a bunker deep down the Wayne Manor, right below the Batcave. – – –
Now watch Epiosde 40 of Super Geeked Up with our friends from Super Knocked Up! Oh yeah, we had a really cool guest in this episode, actor and comedian, Mark Christopher Lawrence who played ‘Big Mike’ in Chuck.