I Want Batman To Be My Father

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On episode 40 of Super Geeked Up, one of the round table questions was which superhero or super villain would we want as our parents. My answer was Batman. Now, I know what you’re thinking — but SPQ, he’ll just be neglectful or he’ll turn you into a Robin or you’ll probably end up dead or badly beaten up down the line. The truth is the reasons I chose him was not well thought-out and are pretty much right on the very shallow surface of the entire situation.

Reason #1 Since he IS the Batman and he is super obsessed with being the Batman. If he hadn’t coerced me into becoming a sidekick, he will pretty much leave me alone. I can live the life of Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl and lack parental interference all across the board. The only way I will get his full attention is if I turn to crime and became a villain (hmm… now there’s an interesting thought!).

Reason #2 He’s rich. He’ll feel a little bit guilty about the parental neglect so you know what that means? I get to use the Bat-Card.

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Guys, it’s a GOTHCard and it’s good thru FOREVER! And I am guessing it’s a no limit charge on that bad boy. Imagine all that shopping therapy and traveling to sunnier cities or beaches that are less dreary than Gotham. In fact, maybe I can ask Bruce-Dad to just send me to boarding school to somewhere like California or Spain.

Reason #3 Alfred. Who doesn’t want an Alfred as your personal assistant?

Reason #4 Robin. ROBINS. If you’re not familiar with my little pervy love for Robin then I am telling you now: I. LOVE. ROBINS. All of them. My favorite is Tim Drake but I’ll take anyone in the Robin suit (and yes, that includes the girl Robins too and Chris O’Donnell).

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I find him very hard to resist. Is it the uniform? Is it the naivety? The innocent? The pure adorableness? I am not sure. Perhaps all of the above. If Bruce Wayne was my dad, I get to live with all the Robins. Enough said. I will not incriminate myself by describing on this blog what I would do if I am in the same house as Robin.

– – –

In reality, I probably won’t live long enough to really enjoy any of the above reasons because the Joker or some of Dad’s super enemies will get to me before I even get to high school. My best chance is to learn how to fight like Damien Wayne, but even he got the short end of the stick. . . or turn into a super villain. Or be kept hidden in a bunker deep down the Wayne Manor, right below the Batcave. – – –

Now watch Epiosde 40 of Super Geeked Up with our friends from Super Knocked Up!  Oh yeah, we had a really cool guest in this episode, actor and comedian, Mark Christopher Lawrence who played ‘Big Mike’ in Chuck.

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Written by Space Pirate Queen
The Space Pirate Queen loves Supernatural, The X-Files and anything that involves the weird.