GEEK LIFE: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
Let’s all just admit it. Most days, we feel like everyone else is doing fun stuff without us. You feel like you’re just sitting in your own cave, watching Netflix while all your friends are high fiving each other on a flying, real life Tardis that one of their other cooler friend made for that one party that you weren’t invited to. Then you tell yourself that it’s okay because you’re kind of a boring person anyways and no one wants to hang out with you. EVER. The cycle of feeling bad for yourself continues forever.
Well, my fellow geeks — it’s time to buck up.
There are plenty of obvious solutions to this common problem. The first one is that to stop feeling like you’re the biggest loser, send your buddies a text and just tell them you want to hang out. Give them the benefit of a doubt. That cool party that no one invited you to? Maybe they already assumed you knew about it and you were going to be there anyways. That one time they all went and did something together without you? Maybe they thought you were busy . . . who knows and really, why care so much and beat yourself up for it?
Your friends aren’t there to hold your hands. We are all caught up in our own little worlds and you can’t expect other people to be the ones to push you out the door. Take the initiative and go do all that fun stuff you want to do. Don’t wait for other people to give you permission to have fun just so it will make you feel like people “wanted you around.” You will never go anywhere if you are constantly waiting for other people.
All right, maybe not all of us have the gumption to just get up and start mass texting our friends to see who wants to keep us company. Here’s another idea: DISCONNECT! Disconnect from your computer, your phone and all of social media.
You know why you feel like everyone else is hanging out without you? It’s because you are staring at the millions of photos everyone else is posting on Facebook. Social media has allowed all of us to be a bit of a show off, because we love our friends and we want the whole world to see that we are doing awesome sauce stuff. The truth is, you probably don’t have the time or the energy to participate in every single awesome sauce stuff that all your friends are doing but when you see all those pictures and check-ins, you feel like you missed out anyways.
It makes us forget that it’s okay to be on our own and we don’t have to feel lonely based on the fun other people are having.
You don’t have to be like Batman and be a creeper-loner vigilante. . . unless, you kick as much ass and you really want to be. I won’t stop you. Once you are disconnected from the internet and all of its selfie-with-our-friends-and-Nathan-Fillion-is-here-too glory, it’s time to find what will make you happy in the long run.
Personally, I work as a graphic designer which means I spend a majority of my life in front of the computer (like right now, typing this thing) and I know I’ve neglected hobbies that used to make me happy. It’s not just work that’s taking up my time on the computer becauseI take those 15 minute breaks just to catch up on Twitter or Facebook. The next thing you know, your brain is full of useless information about what other people are doing and makes you feel like you’ve accomplished nothing anyways. It is our nature to always compare ourselves with other people.
Discover what will make you productive and feel good about yourself away from the social media circus. For creative people, go pick up a pen and a notebook, go outside or sit in your most comfortable couch and start writing, sketching or making origami animals. Or just pick up a book from that pile of unread books collecting dust and get lost in your own comfortable imagination. Just do something that will satisfy your soul and won’t allow you to see photos of your friends hanging out without you.
It’s time we disconnect in order to reconnect.
We need to take ownership of our own feelings and stop assuming that other people are purposely trying to make you feel bad because YOU convinced yourself you are not cool enough.
There is no reason that you can’t make yourself happier today, my fellow slightly, self-conscious geeks. So go forth, re-watch The Avengers to reinvigorate yourself and just go have fun already! You deserve it.