If you’re like me probably some of the first “funny feelings” you had as a child were caused by a certain delicious and androgynous Goblin King. That beautiful bastard Jareth had a way of toying with my pre-pubescent (and eventually VERY pubescent) heart. Oh, haven’t we all daydreamed of hanging out with Jareth in the Underground? Didn’t we all try to offer our younger siblings as sacrifice…. or in my case one of my cats? Let’s be honest, how many of us thought that Sarah was sooooo stupid for turning Jareth down and thought, “If that were me I would have been gung ho from the bedroom scene.” There are many fanfics that fulfill that David Bowie spandex filled Mary Sue fantasy (bless them), but I wanted to feature one that is painfully accurate as to what would probably really happen if Jareth showed up in our bedrooms.
This fanfic is called Say Your Right Words and is by Scattered Logic of Fanfiction.net. The protagonist of this fanfiction has no name and she doesn’t need one. She is us, every Labyrinth fangirl who has planned and dreamed of summoning Jareth.
This fictional world is essentially like ours. The movie Labyrinth exists, the girl is a huge fan, and she has everything prepared for offering her baby sister to the Goblin King, just like in the movie. Jareth does indeed appear, but the reason why I like ‘Say Your Right Words’ is because the author plays out the story so that Jareth acts the way he truly would act, much to our fangirly chagrins. The depiction of Jareth in the story is plausible and true to form. Reading this was a lot of fun because deep down I’ve always known that if Jareth were to show up in my bedroom, willing to take one of my freaking cats, he probably wouldn’t make me his Queen. Sigh. It’s always good to have a story that doesn’t completely pander to the Mary Sue trope and Scattered Logic did that wonderfully.
Did you have a baby sibling to offer to Jareth, or were you like me and tried to offer an irritating pet? Let us know in the comments below!